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Learned Helplessness

by Fully Involved

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1.
The next cityā€™s just in sight But the crime-rateā€™s running high, and theyā€™re desperate to supply Townspeople driven by spite Arguing over the slight petty hope of being right And itā€™s getting hard for indie vendors to get by Chorus: Iā€™ll take a one way trip to a place where chances slip Once was Heavenā€™s gate, but now a sinking ship Packing my bags for a land under attack Maybe Iā€™m late, but Iā€™ll take a one way trip to the wasteland And the back of my mind says ā€œPlease donā€™t applyā€ But I feel it in my gut & at least gotta try To make it in this God-forsaken town Iā€™m on this trip & I canā€™t turn around (Chorus) Chorus 2: Take a chance, ā€˜cause Iā€™m stuck in a trance Behind all this hate, I get lost at a glance, so Iā€™m Packing my bags for a land under attack Maybe Iā€™m late, but Iā€™ll take a one way trip to the wasteland
2.
Foot in mouth again, shame lingers around Which way does the fault flow? Should I take you down or did I let you down? Maybe Iā€™ll never know Chorus: And I try so hard, with verbal navigation But know Iā€™m not a perfect guy A simple thought, unleashes all the venom The question comes ā€œWhy even try?ā€ Another day, another filter, another vain attempt Just to keep the world at ease When fragile minds stay off-kilter, so few are exempt From the opinion disease (Chorus) Looking at you, looking at me now I admit Iā€™m just as lost, the second Iā€™m inclined And brush off empathy Wash my mouth with a soapbox, and thatā€™s how Iā€™m defined With the opinion disease (Chorus) Looking at you, looking at me now
3.
The Equator 03:23
We all wait with baited breath To make right with what weā€™ve got left Weā€™re waiting for commands But praying for a ban from whatā€™s at hand The world burns & whatā€™s imposed? Whatā€™s the color of the firehose? Satire is dĆ©jĆ  vu, we tire of nothing new While civil wars ensue, with no equator Chorus: Performing on a stage, preaching in this day & age The more you compromise, the more negators Call for a change in roles, both directions are too cold What separates the poles is the equator Chorus-outro: Equatorā€¦ your second thoughts will die on the equator Fool them with your piousness A prison for your biases When you put up a fight Since youā€™re disenfranchised, we know youā€™re right And meanwhile collecting dust The ā€œlosersā€ deserve your trust The only ones who think, beyond the papersā€™ ink Will all be left to sink in the equator (Chorus + solo) (Chorus-outro 3x) Itā€™s a sign of dying fate We at large decide the state By no measure of skill But going for the thrill of the next kill The labels & discrimination Without one consideration Hearing either side, the chasmā€™s open wide Hemisphere echo chambers, no equator
4.
Running frantic down the hall, collapsing from it all Failing sanity tonight Now better than it was then, but afraid the aftershock will kick in This is not a normal sight Chorus: All I need from you now, is to accept my breakdown Just to pull myself out, of the Hell I make now All I need is to shout, to make sure that I donā€™t drown Promise I will come around You swear, ā€œThis is the real world, as tough as you have heard Itā€™s a cycle to upset Letā€™s get this all behind us. Do you still use your thymus?ā€ I looked at you calm and saidā€¦ (Chorus + instrumental bridge) (Chorus 2x)
5.
Itā€™s for the songā€™s inspiration Youā€™re the cure to my frustration Months without an idea to frame What Iā€™m about, the cracks have stayed the same Now I have found, a new causation Itā€™s endearing with a name, itā€™s for the song Chorus: First songs are infatuation Sweet and earnest, pure elation Oh and while I am playing a game Itā€™s for the song The interesting partā€™s creation Of a whole new aggravation All to spark that new creative flame Itā€™s for the song A perfect lie, an accusation An anthem of our fallen nation The masters of, the old all see acclaim This state of love, the poetry of shame They know itā€™s tough, they cry relation Pick the strongest nerve & aim, itā€™s for the song (Chorus) Bridge: (Fade out) Iā€™m begging on my knees (Weigh out) Other such imageries Itā€™s all paid off, it turns the gears Theyā€™ll cry out their formative years (Chorus) I cannot stop manipulation, before we hit our expiration For us starving artists, thereā€™s no shame, itā€™s for the song
6.
Chorus: Iā€™ve spent too long to bear, building up your mysticism Youā€™re unaware, my subconscious made that schism Iā€™d compare, how Catholic shame leads to skepticism But thatā€™s comical at best Thought I was higher than the rest Our words flow natural as melodious grooves On that record we gushed over for what felt like an hour or 2 I was getting ready to make a move But you brought up that you got the suggestion from a guy that you knew Of course my plans went down the tubes Voluntarily Iā€™ll verily accept thereā€™s no more point left to prove At the least when Iā€™m talking to you Or ideally the morally correct way I should process the news Butā€¦ (Chorus) Verse 2: Oh god, my head is gonna explode From frustration or inflation of an ego thatā€™s been broken apart Youā€™re content, and that was a blow A contusion, my illusion that youā€™ve went around and broken my heart Whatā€™s it say when I probably know If I didnā€™t see appearances, Iā€™d take it back & learn to restart Weā€™d be off, enjoying a show From that band that first commanded conversations, thatā€™ll rid me the scar Nowā€¦ (Chorus)
7.
Narrative 03:51
Walking helpless on the shore Tunnel vision & still looking for more Gone further off the axis after sudden downpour Nothing better left to do Than sit making mountains out of molecules Oh my, these circumstances are so diabolical Chorus: I would throw it all away If living still afraid Is the price I have to pay To have something left to say Though the truth wonā€™t be dismissed It deserves comparisons Mastering learned helplessness Wonā€™t help the narrative Continuing masochistic facades Refusing water to end the mirage Waiting for words of wisdom to milk something from the odds (Chorus) Looking at this open book, covers glued to the table Ghosts will take distorted looks, translating all the fables Iā€™ll pretend Iā€™m outta luck, satisfied with the label Is a life molded for hooks, worth it for such help? (Chorus)
8.
I can't go on living life like this On this non-stop walk of shame When I keep on with unsubstantialness With no one but myself to blame Chorus: Search me, O God, and know my heart Test me and know my anxious thoughts Now am I a fan or am I a follower Are you really my number one? I stand my ground, head out of the pit How long will this righteousness last? With every future day, will I escape dismay? Or get caught in the loop of past (Chorus) A thousand times a sinner, a thousand times a fool A thousand times forgiven without faith as my own tool I know that I can serve you, but life gets in the way But I know my path to glory needs to start today Chorus 2: Search me, O God, and know my heart Test me and know my anxious thoughts Search me for any offenses Show me the way, I beg, assist, oooh Am I a fan or am I a follower Am I a fan or am I a follower Now am I a fan or am I a follower Are you really my number one?
9.
Chorus: I wanna come out right Oh-whoa-oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh-oh Wanna come out right Oh-whoa-oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh-oh, oh-whoa-oh-oh Sometimes the first or second time is when it all comes together Fight the current, it might take the fourth or fifth Sometimes it seems a revelation should be second nature I only start to refuse it when out of breath Pre-chorus: Praying for an all-new structure shatters with no thought But will exploration rupture all these bonds Iā€™ve got? (Chorus) Sometimes Iā€™ll spend a whole day on the floor just trying to reconnect After the latest brush with reality ā€œIs it a sign or just a fluke?ā€ is what Iā€™m trying to dissect Suppose the answer determines morale to me (Pre-chorus + Chorus) Bridge: When everything goes wrong, I wanna come out right Far from a jaded breed, alone when fears ignite I wanna open up & not make a mess Pardon the dying need to suffer for the stress (3x) (Outro section: bridge 2x) Wanna come out right

about

This full-length debut is a long time in the making & I'm incredibly proud to have it out. It covers a decent range of rock styles, from angry punk jams to sad-boy singer-songwriter stuff & everything in between. What unifies it is its themes of frustration with the status quo, both in the world & within yourself, and giving necessary reality checks along the way.

credits

released August 11, 2017

Mark Berman: Vocals, guitars, bass, drums, keys on "Accept My Breakdown"

Thanks to these cool guys for helping out:

Powers Berry - Guitar solo on "Wasteland"
Nick Fidel - Drums on "The Opinion Disease" & "The Equator"
Ethan (aka Colorblind Coding) - Guitar solo on "Come Out Right"

Tim Suttie - Production & engineering
Adam Lusk - Additional mixing
Nathan Cowan & Johnny Goens - Feedback giving

Recorded/produced at Beacon's Bible Church Aug 2016-June 2017
"Fan or Follower" quotes Psalm 139:23-24

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Fully Involved Santa Ana, California

"One" man "band."

Music for overthinkers.

šŸ¦ŽCOLD BLOODšŸ¦Ž out now!

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