1. |
Participation Trophies
04:38
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A conflict of interest is reached
I put up with attempts to teach
All the ways I am failing & how I am paling
To safer ways to find my niche
Like how all of my friends who are happy to spend
Time to frame their success on a wall
They somehow have less fear cause they spent 2 more years
While we all wander through the same hall
Fantastic for them, their suffix will prove that was smart
But how can I use participation trophies for art?
Chorus:
The true mental slip’s when I lose all that’s been honed
Tension has built; there’s no muse left to postpone
The clock only ticks when I move up the time zone
I’ll make myself known and go it alone
Begs the question: what gives me conceit
To put the system under my feet?
This implies I’m above rather than thinking of
Running near with no need to compete
In this lane as I’m inclined, without 2 yellow lines
You speed long enough you stop reading the signs
So I’ll make an exit and take the long way
40 on Coast Highway until the next day
Still plenty of time, I’m barely out of the gate
Give me a year, while I make the best of our free state
(Chorus)
Bridge:
Tell me how to live like this, tell me how to lift like this
Extra weight’s made up of us, while I’d take all that falls
Show me how to work like this, show me all these perks like this
World is the same as the last time you could make my call
(Chorus)
(Bridge)
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2. |
Simmer
05:05
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Sparks kill the dark in your head
Solidify & fall, at the wall of your skull
Leave a dent
Then settle cause you gotta pay your rent
Trust the sparks’ll hibernate instead
Let a little real-world draft blow in, you’re only...
Chorus:
Giving it the time to simmer (it simmers down)
Silently the flame glows dimmer (it simmers down)
Summer flashes through to winter
While the cold, keeps you in as time unfolds
While chances, all grow slimmer
You’re giving it the time to…
Sighs, fill replies, he projects
A condescending tone, bleeding through on the phone
As he reflects
This kid don’t know the first thing about gear
Annoyed at how ambitions persevere
Pictures in his office, from cathartic years
Settled just to stay within his field
A couple of the dents began to heal
Even with its permanent appeal, he’s only...
(Chorus)
Condition’s critical, the future’s clinical
You wish for Plan A instead; you know it’s all in your head
Don’t take the counterfeit, it’s not a soul you bet
But throw water on the sparks, electrical fires start
(2x)
But you’re…
(Chorus)
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3. |
Gaslighting
03:26
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When we’re shown all we can do if we believe
Then we’re thrown once our minds allow us to grieve
A joke to ease the tension
I crave self-deprecation
“Of all you, I’m a fake” and
Anything to suspend this disbelief
Chorus:
Oh I been gaslighting
Gaslighting myself
Oh I been sense-fighting
And gaslighting my health
When she glows, next to me I need a relief
Cause I know, if I try I’ll look like a creep
So what if she’s been cordial
Though the score around her’s choral
A crack in the dam of delusion or more’ll
Only leave you in your bed in disbelief
(Chorus)
(Instrumental/vocal break/whatever you wanna call it)
(Chorus 2x)
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4. |
Reverb
04:43
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Walking through this worn-in town
Tenth the speed of my commute
Sitting under that same tree
Getting tired of its roots
Not a stone is left unturned
No store left unexplored
Not a lesson left unlearned
But a retread of before
And I can’t make it as a rebel
In a Springsteen sonnet
So I sit within four walls
Pray to happen upon it
Like I’ve done all 20 years
I can call back on so far
Now I’ll curb the fear
Catch up with my peers
Gotta leave, but that sounds hard
Chorus:
The cries echo out, cross towns, county lines
Their message unclear as it all blurs
Convinced I had clout, convinced I did fine
My voice stops round here, the rest is reverb
My voice stops round here, the rest is reverb
Wanna match the adrenaline
From when my phone’s dead in LA
But I can’t stop meddling
Taping up these excuses to stay
Years have gone by since I’ve been
To the beach anyway
I need a little time to begin again
This dimension drains & stows your brain away
(Chorus)
My voice stops round here, the rest is reverb
My voice stops round here, the rest is reverb
My voice stops round here, the rest is reverb
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5. |
If for Just a Second
04:55
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I’m not saying my shrink’s an impostor
But he’s relaying advice from cat posters
Then again, my material’s stubborn
Since when have I taken this loner mind
And given it to the kind it’s longed to find
Now this ain’t the time or place for some guy to plead his case
You’re minding your own business after all
But these last few weeks were hell, so I’ll pretend to be neutral
While you’re a poster on my post-teenage mind’s wall
I’m sorry how that would come off
But…
Chorus:
If for just a second
In your eyes, I find content
I’ll revel in the moment
Even if I never see you again
You bumped my arm at the edge of the mosh pit
A quick “sorry” & I’m looking to match wits
Best case scenario, we fall
Worst case, it’s okay, she’ll fade into the crowd at the festival
When the situation’s framed
The adrenaline remains
The only thing I’ve gained
And...
(Chorus)
You summon all my sins
Committed nowhere but within
They meet up at the hole of reticence
Each thought’s a different tool
But digging at the same damn fool
Ignoring what’s been building next to it
Time to push aside the threat that I mold before it sets
You’re minding your own demons after all
Internalize the melodrama, channel it into a comma
Separate the past lines for this call
From now on, those are only occasional
(Chorus)
And if for just a second
I feel you’re Heaven sent
I’ll field all these emotions
Just in case I never see you again
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Fully Involved Santa Ana, California
"One" man "band."
Music for overthinkers.
🦎COLD BLOOD🦎 out now!
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